1) Be competent
Knowing what you are doing, being knowledgeable and responding well to problems and confusion under pressure are a rapid conscience to gain trust.
Depending on the situation it can come down to real competence
If there’s a leak in a pipe and you know how to fix it you quickly become trusted because you are both useful and proven to be able to do what you’ve promised (“hang on, let me take a look and fix that.
The conscious you dress, speak, hold your body and eye contact and present yourself are extremely important as well.
2) Find common ground
The next key trust-gaining behavior is to find common ground.This should be genuine common ground that you relate to them about.
If they bring up their love of Beyonce and you can’t think of anything you relate to about that, wait until they bring up something you can relate to.
They have a fear of environmental destruction and pollution? You do as well, and in fact you’ve been reading a book on climate change.
They come from a very musical family and are thinking of putting together a band? You have been thinking a lot about learning guitar.
In psychological studies and marketing this is known as the “In Group Bias.”
As psychology and personal development coach Brandon Red linger write
“The Ingroup Bias simply states that we like and trust people who we perceive as being similar to us.”
3) Open up to them
When you open up to someone about a personal or sensitive detail of your life, you take a risk.
It may be a small risk, it may just be that they think you’re stupid for liking a certain type of music or that they think of you differently knowing you take medication for depression.
But by opening up to them, you create a bridge whereby they can respect that you’re willing to be vulnerable and trust them. So they trust you in turn.
We also have an expectation that there will be a positive outcome to this, so the risk of opening up or trusting another is worth it.”
4) Respect boundaries
If you listen closely during any short or longer interaction with somebody, they will often let you know their boundaries and the extent of their trust right now.
In other words they may bring up things they love to do or shy away at certain comments or questions from you but brighten up at other points.
Look for these “brightening up” moments or expressions, seeking to pursue those kinds of subjects instead of pushing only what you want to talk about.
Sometimes people do need more time and space to move at their own pace. Recognizing and allowing that without pushing, makes them trust you very quickly.
5) Be transparent
In addition to opening up, gaining somebody’s trust involves being transparent about your own mistakes and about your own interests.
From a business perspective, for example, this would be something like saying “well, yes I’d love it if you bought the phone and the plan from me but I also honestly like talking to you and won’t think any less of you if you don’t get it.”
This removes all pressure while also announcing your honest position as (in that instance) a commissioned mobile phone salesperson.
When it comes to making mistakes it’s similar: admitting you’ve messed up in a way that makes it clear you aren’t trying to be something you’re not and are only human and always trying to improve.
When you attempt to hide your mistakes, people know that you are being dishonest
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